Paradoxes

Today is a day of paradoxes. My little angels are devils today. This day is supposed to be a calm, relaxing day, a few flurries flying about, outside but … It didn’t snow yesterday, it was freezing rain and sleet. Miserable.

Oh God. Now the pre-teens are awake. And now, of course, that means there are hormones to fly, fights to pick, and insults to scream. I can’t wait for all of the cacophonies to begin.

Everybody loves a good fight. Right? Hell no!

So now, in a wink, everything quiets and my Celestial Beings return. They look as if they could churn butter in their mouths. Pour in some cream and presto. There it is. No telling how long it might last though. This day looks to be a quick-change day too.

My original thought about this blog was to talk about humor but a few things sidetracked me. The first things are the kids. Anyone that has one or more knows what I’m talking about here. Oh, and I guess I’ve given a few hints about them above. They are so consistently capricious, and when they are, they charm with irritation. I do love them. You would too once you met them. They’re kind of like me – cute.

Just the other day I had a woman mention that I’m cute. She was on the phone with some of her peers and said it three times within as many minutes. Now let me tell you that is just what a man needs to hear, that he’s cute. Ordinarily, I would simply blow it off. I did start to tell my wife that she had nothing to worry about but decided not to tell her. She has no reason to be jealous about anything or anyone because no woman wants a cute old man except to grin at from afar, that and maybe the grandkids like it. Once you reach the cute stage your machismo sinks like the Titanic.

I guess I haven’t been a woman magnet in years. Well, that’s not really true. I don’t think I’ve ever been a huge draw for driving women into a lathering frenzy. I’ve always been the kind of guy that does the right thing. You know the boring gentleman.

Oh. Will you look at those words. I’ve cut myself to the quick. What a fibber I’ve become. I didn’t use to be the boring one. I used to be a bad guy. How bad? Let’s just say I’ve had my face slapped several times and, yes, I deserved it. Here’s the bottom line about it though. I learned from each experience and didn’t do or say whatever it was that triggered the quick-slap. So does that make me a good-bad guy? Dunno.

During the course of my life, I’ve done several jobs that rounded off my sharp corners. I’m rather well traveled. I was a soldier (really loved that profession too, by the way). That was where I learned the skills I give to my characters in my thrillers; the kind of things that lend realism to the suspense. Before the Army, I was a roughneck in the oilfields of Oklahoma, and that was after I coached gymnastics. My most long-lived job was a restauranteur. At least with that, food wasn’t hard to come by. Did I mention being a teacher? How about a school bus driver?

Oh, what the hell. Right now I’m boring and … cute (the death knell of machismo).

I guess it’s better than just being a grizzled old bastard. I’ve been an undying bastard, a real son-of-a-bitch, a sorry asshole, and an ever-loving shithead. I guess it won’t hurt to be … grumpy and cute. Not that I have any say in the matter. The image of a cute old man looks to be assigned to you by someone else. Once again, this kind of news isn’t that important. It won’t cause the poles to reverse and make the south pole and north pole change positions. It won’t eradicate the most heinous thing of which I can imagine, child abuse.

What I’m talking about now is, I suppose, only a part of growing older. It’s froth on a beer, fluff on hot cocoa, or maybe a piece like this. While this may be lite and comical it is far from life shattering substance.

The reason I wrote this is simple, I had a blog ready to post but I’m holding off on it, because It is rather dark and deals with a problem that I can’t stand, and I needed to lighten my own mood.

Again, a paradox. It’s like being a published author that no longer has a book on the shelves. The Sigma Factor is soon to be back on the e-shelves. Not long after that, I should have my second book out. The Great Zero Sum should be out by next year. I am looking for Beta readers now. These are readers that get a free copy of the book along with the chance to have input into the final copy, a voice to tell me what you liked, or perhaps didn’t like. If you want to do that for me leave a comment and I will get back to you.