Our True Depths

Yesterday I drove down a country road, the twists, turns, and all the unexpected things. Beyond those, or perhaps because of them, the entire drive had a concrete feel about it. At first, I simply drove, relishing the feel of things as they flew by – solid, strong, exactly as they should be. Everything had a single, distinct, yet undefinable essence permeating through it. Everything had a perfect … texture.

I remember wondering; is there a purpose to the feeling like that, other than to make those of us taking a country drive feel comfortable? It’s like –

I screeched to a stop. Uh, that is I stopped pondering, didn’t halt my car. My brain paused forward motion and hit reverse into what we normally call memory. I remembered several times in my past where I moved inexorably towards a disaster. These were moments where I was not privy to the disaster beforehand. Not even a hint.

Then WHAM! Something happened to move me in exactly the correct way to forestall annihilation of myself and probably others.

It was like the time I drove with single-minded focus, in the midst of passing a car, when my arm inexplicably jerked, sending me back into my own lane, missing the car I intended to pass by scant inches. I still followed that car, hadn’t passed it at all, but on the other side of the road, and out of nowhere there zoomed another vehicle rocketing down their side of the road, crashing through the sound barrier in the exact position I had been scant milliseconds before.

After a few quick seconds of introspection during which I tried to settle my heartbeat. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I mean, holy shit, fire! It was like a cosmic hand grabbed me, yanked me around, and then continued on doing whatever it normally did.

It’s things like this that made me a fan of Kismet, fate, or predestination and all that. I suppose I could call it Divine Guidance. But before anyone starts yip hip hurrahing – or thinking I’m a sorry sack of yak dung – let me tell you that I’ll be willing to bet my version of the Divine probably doesn’t match yours. Let me explain. What I just wrote doesn’t mean I agree or disagree with anyone. I don’t care whether or not you are an atheist or a sublime follower of one of the three religions Of The Book(Old Testament). Then there is Buddhism, Hinduism, the New Pagans. I don’t care what you are. Everyone has a place.

I am also a fan of personal choice. At every cusp, we must make decisions that will affect us and an unknown amount of others later in life. I will have to write another blog to explain how I can be a fatalist and simultaneously one that believes in personal choice. For right now let me just say I have worked it out in my mind, and am content with all of the different paths and religions.

If you have a belief, that means it’s good for you at this particular instance. It may not be for everyone, but it is for you. That doesn’t mean it has to remain correct for you through all time. Things change, as do beliefs. Can anyone out there tell me that you have the same understanding of the world and cosmic happenings that you did when you were twelve?

If you can, you aren’t very old. Things intensify, sometimes fade, at times they turn completely about. And I’ll go even further. In another twenty years, they may not be what they are now. Things change. Time passes, weather changes, and yes – shit happens.

I’m sure that the last paragraph has lowered someone’s opinion of me, and now it’s down to around, Oh … snake shit. Maybe even lower than that, whale shit, perhaps?

These things go to the heart of us. I don’t want to poke and prod at beliefs. They should be the most protected, and yet they seem to be the most unprotected as if we really aren’t sure if we believe those things or not. But to prove we do, a huge portion of people resort to attacking others’ in defense of their own self-doubt.

I think everyone should spend some serious time in deep contemplation, meditation, or some kind of soul searching to find out what our true depths are. If everyone did that, I think attacks on other people’s belief might slow. It’s time for Humans to grow up. Been, actually. Love to see it happen. Perhaps this new year will bring it around.

Subjects like this are sometimes slippery to nail down. That is one of the reasons I include themes like, “What exactly is love,” and “What is the nature of personality” in my books. Among all of the suspense, thrills, and plot twists there is a vein of serious thought, and it often takes an entire novel to explore that serious train of thought.

If you haven’t picked up one of my novels, please do. The Sigma Factor is for sale right now on Smashwords.com, Barnes, and Nobles. com, and iBooks. Amazon will carry it in the near future. Then there is my new one that will hit the stands soon, The Great Zero Sum. Both under the pen name J W Bell. I know you will enjoy them.

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