Life at our house

Well, breakfast is over, and boy it was about as fun as a kick in the scrotal sack.

Between getting the cereal, eggs, milk, applesauce, mopping spills, and the hunt for silverware, it was exhausting. (The kids lose more flatware than … I think I’ve purchased enough cheap cutlery to outfit an entire college dorm floor for a year.) I can’t leave out the marathon scream from the youngest daughter because she wanted to make sure every person who had ever lived heard her, even if they had been grave bound for centuries. Your ears may even now hear a faint remnant echo of her blood coagulating from the effort she used to produce the scream.

My apologies if the noise perforated any eardrums. I finally had to turn my hearing aids off to pick the tyke up, put her in my bedroom, and close the door. We need a soundproof room where I can stick a child when they turn up the volume like that. It would also be great for me to sit in while I blather about as a result of living in the house with everyone.

I used the wrong word. It should have been everything instead of everyone because we have quite the menagerie. I’ve talked about our animals in other blogs, so let me say we have several animals. And while it can be a challenge to live in this house with so many humans. It is an arduous task for me to live with all of the creatures.

Yesterday the two outside dogs escaped. The pony opened the pasture gate that borders on the front yard. This pony is the one my youngest daughter (see above) thinks of as a disabled unicorn. She loves unicorns and calls this animal her ‘corn. In her mind, since our unicorn does not have a horn, she must be disabled.

But back to the dogs.

When the pony exited the pasture and entered the yard, the dogs did a double reverse and ran out into the field, and gone! Yeah, that’s right. Gone. The oldest one has a history of running away, and when he returned the last time he had a crushed rear leg. That injury sidelined him for months, almost a half year. If we’d have known how long it would take, and what he would have had to live through to heal, we would’ve put him down. It would have been kinder.

The fear of duplicating what happened then is real.

Here’s where I’m going. During the search for the missing dogs, the kids and wife stumbled across a neighbor who had a litter of weaned puppies ready to be separated from their mother. The result of that is now, I have another dog.

Have you read the Clifford books, the ones about the gigantic red dog? This new puppy is white, not red. However, this pup will grow into a colossus of a dog. I’m talking roughly about a large one of those Saint Bernards that have a keg of brandy you might remember seeing in an old cartoon. She is not a Saint Bernard, but she will be that large. No, I’m not happy about that. Well, the brandy doesn’t sound bad. Maybe I can work with that.

I think the food bill will be tremendous. Plus, any time you have that amount going in an animal, there will be a proportionate amount dropping out the exit. Yeah. I’m going to need a bigger shovel. Oh well, maybe it will turn into a two kid job. Now I can feel a smile working.

I have enough to do right now without adding more to my to-do list. I have to finish both upcoming novels, The Great Zero Sum and The Dao Factor. There is Zero Sum’s cover on order which Jojo will deliver soon. (By the way, my cover designer is outstanding. Her name is Jojo Shelly, and I’ll post her website address at the bottom of this blog.) I will have a cover reveal as soon as I can. All of this plus the labor of formatting both books into the required formats. It will be my first solo attempt at formatting a novel, so I’m anticipating a few problems what with the learning curve and all. I am also working on the rough draft of the next novel, The Null Factor. I can’t forget my blog. So, the last thing I need is something else that eats up my time. I forgot to mention, I work as a substitute teacher during the week, and that puts a considerable crimp in my time.

I will say two things about the substitute job. There is an absolute satisfaction about working with these kids because I usually work with the classes other substitutes don’t want – discipline problems and disabled kids. It also gives me a chance to study reactions, mannerisms up close, along with keeping tabs on my feelings during all the troubles in the classroom. All of it is good fodder for writing.

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Don’t forget The Sigma Factor. You can find it here.

You can find Jojo’s website here.

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