I looked for a title for this blog, and the word “why” came to mind. I immediately tossed it away because it was
obvious to me: new generations.
Male and female. What the hell?
It is no secret that the two genders don’t understand each other. They have different needs, and often, they only coincide a few and select times. Women tend to think of their men as boys. I’ve never met a woman who did not think her husband was a boy. It’s a common joke, but it has more than a kernel of truth. Men will inevitably tell you they do not understand the way women think. It’s a mystery the size of a black hole.
So, what happens? They are irresistible, drawn to each other, and live in bliss for a time. Then, the first child comes along. That heightens everything. The new little person binds the two adults together, but in my experience, a slow rot begins. The love doesn’t stop; the family still thrives, but the focus changes. The mothers have a select focus on the children, and the fathers try to kill themselves to make sure the family has what it takes to survive.
I don’t mean to imply that women don’t focus on the family’s survival. They, too, work hard, often tirelessly, to ensure there is enough money for food, mortgage payments, clothes, and such things. Nor do I mean that men don’t love and cherish their families. They do.
No, that is not the rot.
That stealthy little piece of shit sneaks in, often unknown to the couple. The woman tends to forget that the children aren’t everything. He needs affection and not just sex, although that is integral. He needs appreciation, too, but mothers give everything to the kids. He becomes so centered on problems that he forgets to listen. She needs to vent her feelings and emotions and talk out the problems that she perceives but can’t; he doesn’t listen. Then often times menopause compounds everything. So, her tension builds, and he finds loneliness that builds his tension.
Again, men and women don’t understand each other, and in their communal misery, confusion grows. This, then, is the rot. And it can only be cured by listening to the other gender and giving them what they crave.
Let me reiterate. Both parties need to listen to the other gender. Few can do that. To know what the others say, one has to listen to the other’s spirit because any other way is gibberish, and gibberish is what got us there in the first place.
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Paul Hoyt
Love it! I realized sometime ago that I was not my wife’s first priority – I was fourth on the list, right behind my two kids and the dog. 🙂