Are You Happy?

Hello, and welcome back to my blog. My sense of time crept away, hidden from me because I wasn’t feeling well. As happens to everyone, I struggled with well-being a bit. I usually don’t talk about that, but like I said, I believe everyone has had battles in that way.

Fortunately, I worked with what I knew. Several times, I meditated before sleeping and again when I woke, focusing on the pleasant things I’d seen and done. After a few days, I decided to get back to writing. So, I dug out my computer and let my fingers go to work.

But the days weren’t happy-go-lucky quite yet. You know what I mean? When you think you have everything licked, an ass-kickin’ casually strolls around the corner. Those kinds of things can be figurative and literal; mine was more of a metaphorical dust-up this time.

There have been times when lessons came around literally.

I remember one notable time when I was in Korea, I had just beat every beer glass before me to their bottom lines in what I might call a game of peppermint schnapps with beer chasers, and I ran my alligator mouth. My hummingbird ass was nowhere near heavy enough to back up what my lubricated vocal cords exclaimed. I won’t tell you what came out of my mouth except to say it wasn’t the beer I’d just drank, and what occurred to me was deserved.

As my buddies pushed me from the floor back to an upright position, much like one of those childhood toys that you can knock as hard as you can, it lays down and then rights itself automatically. Anyway, on my way returning to a standing position, I remember thinking that I’d screwed up, but I couldn’t get the apology out quickly enough.

Down again.

My buddies righted me and dragged me free of the bar this time.

Very fortunate.

But enough of that. We all can be stupid as hell. Well, live a little, learn a lot, or don’t learn at all, and life will be hell.

Back to the lesson I suffered through this week. I set out to do some writing. I dragged myself back to the keyboard, shuffled past on my two priority works in progress, and dove into my nonfiction project, the second part of my book, I Am, Therefore I Think. I’d put it on the back burner months ago because I wasn’t sure I had a good handle on what I tried to say. Things weren’t making sense.

Wow!

That piece of work that I’d shelved hit the target and zeroed in with perfect meaning to me. To say I hit the target doesn’t give it justice. The words on my page hit the absolute center of my glob of messed-up feelings.

Bang!

The words I wrote that didn’t seem correct while I typed them were the perfect things I needed to read. It was an excellent example of how I could not understand an idea until it was time for me to do so.

This situation reinforced my firm belief that things only feel right once they do. I know that sounds like so much crap, but It’s true. It lends a new meaning to the verse, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3: 1

What I wrote only meant something when it was time to absorb it.

Today, everything is as it should be. The feeling I have is strange, because I believe everything exists in perennial rightness. However, that does not mean you and I will always be happy. In my first book I wrote, the Universe is under no obligation to make any part of itself happy. I stand by that belief.

As a child, I talked with my mother about why people divorced. Her answer was short and to the point. Her face saddened, and she said, “I think it is because people don’t always know when they are happy.”

We may not know we are happy; to be clear, happiness may be our blind spot. Humans may not realize when happiness enfolds them. Can you see what I mean?

Well.

As I look at the beginning of today’s blog, I see something else that I may not have understood the first time. The tough time I weathered through wasn’t the problem that I perceived. Perhaps I simply needed to recognize my own happiness.

 

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