Let Me Know

I feel good today, a far cry from the demons that peppered me this last week. Frustration was the culprit. Well … no. It was the cause of the frustration, which was anger at being ineffective. But how was I ineffective?

I wasn’t able to control things like keeping my children healthy. Normally, this isn’t one doesn’t prey on me because health comes easily to them. This last week, though, five of the eight children left at the house fell sick with COVID. The symptoms ranged from light cases—barely ill—sniffles and flu-like symptoms to the tougher results of the bug. One had severe stomach cramps.

I say severe; they were very uncomfortable for him, and they went untreated for a day or so because the boy is the resident drama stoker, and I didn’t recognize his plight for what it was. Instead, I supposed it to be an attention ploy. But when he dropped off to sleep that night, he moaned, groaned, and tossed himself around. Then he started coughing like a cat with a hairball, ending in a vomit fountain exercise.

By then, I felt bad because I’d discounted the little guy’s distress all day.

While this happened, his sister had a wild rash, which harkened to the measles outbreaks in the news, followed quickly by a chickenpox scare. It was neither, but we think perhaps COVID. This continued until I remembered all of my kids had had the suggested inoculations. I have always thought it smart to get inoculations. I mean, they work. And I view those who refuse as extremely shortsighted. If that hurts someone’s feelings, I’m sorry. That’s the way I see it.

All of this is like the wallpaper on your phone, the background for my ghoulies and ghosties that prowled my psyche, feeding on insecurities that I’ve been aware of but usually discount as so much bullshit.

You know what I’m talking about; everyone has them to an extent, the little nagging things that burrow under the skin of life. Usually, they irritate and annoy. This time, they somehow latched onto the handholds of my spirit and would not let go. I had the means to banish them, but the damn beasties were so effective I didn’t have the motivation.

Now isn’t that crappy? Precisely when you need something, it takes a holiday. I know; the irony of it all. To make it even more so, I remembered all the times I looked for some literary irony and couldn’t find it, but this little thing just slithered up behind me and slapped me several times in the back of the head with its tail.

One of my longtime friends even worked out a system to combat this very thing that he enjoys daily. It raises his consciousness to a more productive self—the best if him possible. It is a wonderful program, and I have mentioned it several times in my blog. https://Mindseq.com Even fifty years ago, we could tell he was going to make splashes throughout life.

But my situation had its traps that would not let me raise myself up to take control of things. I’ll chalk it off to a self-imposed debilitation.

That is until the thing inside of me, that thing that insisted I pay no attention to anything, burned itself out, like cauterizing a potentially mortal wound to produce a healthy being. And like that type of healing, it will produce a scar, but one that will be functional and even add positivity to my life.

It is an excellent example of going through the darkest part of the night before dawn lights the air. But now, the sun is up, and I’m engrossed in things I love doing; I’m loving my kids, writing (by the way, I received Honorable Mention in the Small Bites short story contest at Indies United Publishing House), extending my limits as far as possible, and trying to sell my books.

That last thing takes a huge amount of my free time, not the actual moving and shaking, but the mental gymnastics of planning and deciding. Plus, there are innumerable programs I had to sift through that say they have the ultimate answer/course/advice to teach (or fleece) authors. If you are wondering, I disregard 99% of them. Of course, every one of them will give a show for an hour, or at least a half-hour, convincing you that their program/course is needed before they tell their price. Some of them make you watch two or three videos. If they are so damn good, why do they all spend my time like it is nothing to me? I think they like to hear themselves blather about to show how clever they are. They come across as the local town fool.

Ridiculous, yes?

Instead, I have elected to conduct my poll. It is very simple: Simply comment with a short one-word answer about whether you like my fiction series, The Sigma Chronicles, or my nonfiction works, my blog, and my book, I Am Therefore I Think. Once I get your answer, I can direct more time in that area.

I am always writing, and several people have commented that they like my nonfiction book better. This poll addresses your preferences, so now I would like to know.

Remember to sign up for my Newsletter. If you haven’t, click here. Once you click, the link will take you to my website if you aren’t there already. Have a look around.

If this is your first time reading my blog, you may be interested in checking out my publisher, Indies United Publishing House’s website. Just click here. There are plenty of great books in almost any genre. Try them; you’ll love them.

Most of all, don’t forget to read. You will love it!

Leave a Comment! Fiction or Nonfiction